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me to all my friends: YOU CAN DO IT. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER. COME ON!!!
me to myself: you fucking piece of shit you will amount to nothing nothing is worth it your feelings are irrational go sleep for 22 hours

tforge13:

wordssetinstony:

tricksterkids:

cadegrey:

mjwatson:

i don’t really understand where penises go when boys wear pants

sometimes to the left

sometimes to the right

sometimes up

sometimes down

sometimes painful

sometimes not

depends

take it back now y’all

One hop this time

please don’t jump on my penis

hbunot:

I may not be 5 gum but I can still stimulate your senses.

(Source: hbunot)

thrashturbate:

cynical-bee:

thrashturbate:

I’ll bet you’d look adorable grasping at the sheets on my bed

no matter how many times u compliment me im not making ur bed

this has to be one of the best responses I’ve gotten to this text post

thrashturbate:

cynical-bee:

thrashturbate:

I’ll bet you’d look adorable grasping at the sheets on my bed

no matter how many times u compliment me im not making ur bed

this has to be one of the best responses I’ve gotten to this text post